It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
