part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
