i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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