Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
