I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
