just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
