i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Randomize
