I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
