So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
