So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Quick, to the slutcave!
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
