Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
