What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
