we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
