They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
