So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
my being single is dangerous.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
