We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
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