I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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