I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
