Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
