Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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