I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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