you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
