that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
nutella sex= disaster
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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