I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
