some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
