I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
