It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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