Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
