there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
