covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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