i already hear my dad disowning me
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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