We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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