Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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