This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
