My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
