they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
