I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
