Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
