He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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