oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
