My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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