Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
