Whod you bang
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
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