Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
