I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
