forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
