I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
ttyl tear gas
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
