the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
