I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
