I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
